My father left my mother when I was 19 years old. He was going through a mid-life crisis and he has been miserable ever since. One of the things that I really detest about my father is that he acts like a total asshole to my step-father. Dad, you left mom, how on earth can you blame Jim for anything? Retard.

Fast-forward 8 years. I break up with my girlfriend of close to 10 years after living together two years of harmoniously living together. Everything is good except me. I want something else, something different. I want to leave the country. I want to get out. And I do. I hurt her badly because I'm confused. While I haven't been miserable like my father, I'm not well either. I really miss her and the relationship we had.

This weekend I'll see my ex-girlfriend with her new boyfriend at a party. It's unavoidable. And I totally hate him.

Damn you dad. I'm doing exactly what I hate about you.

So, one of the oddest things I've ever witnessed occured today. I'm at a park up the street kicking a soccer ball around with Graham, Peter, and Bethany while this a little kid playing wiffle ball with his mom next to us. For whatever reason we all are looking over at this little kid just in time to see a white shoe fall from the sky and hit him on the back. It just fell straight down. There was no one else around. WTF? That was totally bizarre.

Be careful when in Cambridge, you may get hit by a free-falling shoe.

if motivation and focus came in a bottle, i'd need a case. or two.

or i could free-base it. that might work.

I talked to a friend today and she said that while she was at home over Easter, her step-sister and brother-in-law (step-brother-in-law, i guess) surprised her by going to church with her family while she stayed at home. Her mom was a bit dismayed that she didn't go to church with the fam on easter sunday, but she made up for it by doing all the dishes. But it got me to thinking: What's the difference between going to church and doing the dishes?

Going to church and doing the dishes can be fairly similar. First of all, I never really liked doing either. Secondly, and more to the point, church (or synagog, or what have you) is used by many as a way to meditate and get answers for problems or to get perspective. As they meditate, God "helps" them to find answers and give them perspective. Now, I don't really believe that God is giving them answers, but it's the time they spend reflecting on their problems that helps them. I don't really like doing dishes, but sometimes it's nice to just stand there, wash dishes and think. I don't often get a chance to just spend time thinking. When I do the dishes, I do. While, dishes and not God "help" me find answers to my problems, the result is the same.

I belive in the holy trinity of dirty dishes, sponges, and liquid dish detergent. or something like that.

i haven't posted for a while, so i decided i better write about something important: sandals with pantyhose.

the vast majority of my co-workers are women (prolly about 3 to 1 women to men) and of those most of the women are in their late forties or older (leaning toward older). many of these women show up to work with pantyhose and sandals. it looks awful, but for the 60+ crowd here, it's probably to my benefit that they are hiding their gams behind nude-colored nylon. but there is a new girl who is in her early 20's, who could be cute if she tried a little harder, and didn't wear pantyhose with sandals. i don't understand; i'm certainly no fashion maven, but c'mon. that has to be an official no-no in a book of rules somewhere, doesn't it?

that's all. i told you it was important.